Random day

Well we got the call last night that school would be in session today but on a 1 hour delay. The irony of it is that its still snowing and alot more than yesterday so im not really sure what is going to happen. Buddy started his antibiotics yesterday and seems to be feeling a little better we are hoping that after his teeth get done on monday he will be back to normal and that then also starts our dreaded wait for the results of his bloodwork. He had some kind of episode a while back and his vet seems to think it was a seizure we still question if it was a stroke as well. The bloodwork will test for metabolic stuff and other stuff. Its crazy how our pets really become just another member of the family.

I cant believe my baby girl is going to be 4 on sunday. It seems like yesterday she was just a baby. I can picutre her in her little bundle wrap all cozy. She was so tiny and sweet. Shes still tiny but shes got ALOT more attitude these days. Time sure does fly. This year she will be 4 Gabe turns 8 and Kiernan turns 3 oh yeah and kory turns 35!!!! Hahahaha He doesnt know it yet but i am planning on suprising him with his own cake to. Im just not sure what im going to do for his yet.  Right now im gearing up for Ashlynns Hello Kitty cake which is going to test my skills or show me how much they lack. Im really happy that some of the family from Louisville is going to come here for her party. Shes been feeling pretty left out of things lately. I really cant say i blame her since her brothers do require so much attention.

so a new weird thing has come up for me the last few days. the only thing i can really think of is that cycle of emotions you go through when things happen. Anyway I can say CDH ro hear CDH but I have a really hard time hearing it said out loud what those 3 dreadful letters stand for. I cant even say what it stands for without pain or crying. I wonder if im finally at a point where my mental side and body are truly finally dealing with it and hitting that mourning period. Things have certainly slowed down as far as all the constant follow ups Kiernan has needed for so long. Things had just been so fast and regular that i think i closed that part and did what moms do - survive and push through it.  Its really odd that here i am 2 1/2 years after i ever learned what it was and i have been fine with it for a long time and now boom cant handle it.  I get angry when i hear of a new CDH Angel or of a family that just learned what it is. I know that each one of us is created the way we are with a purpose its just so difficult to be ok with children having to go through some of the things they do. I look at Kiernan's belly and yes im very greatful he is here it just hurts to think about the cost to his little body and his rough start.  I know he really in a sense had it easy compared to some but none the less he still had a struggle.  There are so many words and terms i had to learn that i would LOVE to erase but they unfortunatly are BURNED into my brain. I look at Kiernan now and wonder what his future will be. The CDH had hold of him when he was born and now that its lasting marks are under control we shift gears and prepare for the Klinefelters stuff. I cant change whats done, i cant take away what he has becuase its part of what makes him who he is. I just want to do my best to be honest and open with him when the time comes to educate him about himself and why he will need to do the things he will have to and that some of them will be life long.

Another thing that has been bothering me lately is how some ppl in my life have this perception that i favor one or more of my children over the other. I do my honest to GOD best for each one of my babies. I do my best to give them equal attention and love and support. Yeah so not ALL of them are in all the pictures i post of my kids but is that really a way to make that call??? Ok thats it on that

toady is turning out to be a random day wow!!!  my oldest is back in school, Kier is currently naked and Ashlynn just has jammie pants on. what a dayguess i better get clothes on them its 17 degrees outside (not that we will be going outside) its not cold in here now but I am not ready for the sight of my 2 year old discovering his "parts"

peace out my loves
Im randomly off for the continuation of my random day with my random children to watch the random snow flakes randomly falling.